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Unable to deny the petroglyphs on the wall, Struthiomimus Santorum, considered by some to be the only true challenger to Brontosaurus Romneii, has "suspended" his quest for the paleo-presidency.
In a speech set in the Pennsylvanian hills of his ancestors, S. santorum today took the first of many steps from Right-wing hero to the fossil fuel of tomorrow. Now at least, when history records his campaign, he can at least be credited with adding some BTU value to the proceedings.
Facing almost certain extinction in his home-state primary, this pre-emptive move allows S. santorum to avoid the "loser" tag while regrouping/mutating for a possible return to the political scene.
As expected, the socially-challenged B. romneii waited a mere nanosecond after the announcement to shake down S. santorum for an endorsement. To his credit, S. santorum refused to capitulate, no doubt infuriating the presumptive and presumptuous nominee, who simply cannot command the respect of anyone other than his paid lackeys, and even they have their doubts.
Well, as we say in the Cretaceous, "tough coprolites". Speaking of which, follow along below the orange coprolite for more...
